During training, one of the trainers asked each of us what we were interested in doing while we were in Japan. When it came my turn, I said I wanted to travel around Asia – that I was dying to go to Thailand some day. “It’s beautiful,” agreed the trainer. ” … but it’s not a great place to go if you don’t like being pestered.”
Thus, I give you:
Overheard in Thailand
The Little Chicks Say: “Cheap Cheap Cheap!”
Khao San Road Vendor #4: Cheap cheap! I give you good price. Where you from?
On What, Exactly?
Khao San Road Vendor #35: Cheap cheap! Where you from? I give you good price.
Hello to you, too!
Khao San Road Vendor #57: Where you from? Hello? Where you go? You want? I give you. Good price! Hello? Hello?
No. Over there. Not here.
Khao San Road Tuk Tuk Driver #10: You need car? Where you go? Where you from?
Just Crossing the Street, Man …
Khao San Road Tuk Tuk Driver #32: Where you want go? I take you. Come here. Where you from?
That’ll Actually Be Another 10 Baht …
Tuk Tuk Driver #57: Where you want go? I take you.
Asia-weary Tuk-Tuk Passenger: To the Grand Palace.
Tuk Tuk Driver #57: Grand Palace. Okay! (drives a few blocks, then pulls over) Hello. One hour, I take you. Where you want go? I take you ….
Asia-weary Tuk Tuk Passenger: No! Grand Palace! Fast fast! Now!
Tuk Tuk Driver #57: One hour. I take you [pointing to various locations on a map in the tuk tuk]. Where you want go? Cheap cheap. I take you on good tour.
Asia-weary Tuk Tuk Passenger: No! Grand Palace! Now! Fast fast!
Tuk Tuk Driver #57: Where you want go? I take you. Where you want go?
Asia-weary Tuk Tuk Passenger: Your mom’s house. Shut up!
Young Man, Someone Will Make a Man Out of You Here in Bangkok … Heck, It Might Even Be a Man …
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: Hello. Where are you from?
English Teacher #1: America.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: What’s your name?
English Teacher #1: Liv.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: That’s my sister’s name! Where are you from in America?
Liv: New York.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: Liv, did you know that I’ve always wanted a girlfriend from New York in America whose name begins with the letter “L”???
Liv: No, I did not. My boyfriend might have something to say about that, though.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: Oh no!
Liv: Sorry.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap (turning to English Teacher #2): What’s your name?
English Teacher #2: Pepper.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: Pepper! You know, a bloke who wears glasses can only look a prat. But a girl looks sexy …
Pepper: Thanks.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: I’m in Bangkok with me mates on holiday. You know, I’ve never been away from mum and dad for more than 8 days when I went to a musical festival!
Pepper: Wow.
Inebriated 20 year-old English Chap: I know! Are you girls coming to a bar with us later?
Pepper and Liv: NO.
Ao Lang Beach One-Liners
Ao Lang Beach Vendor #7: Cheap cheap! I give you good price! Where you from?
Ao Lang Beach Vendor #17: Where you from? Come look. Cheap cheap!
Ao Lang Boatsman #5: You need boat? Ko Phi Phi? Lanta? Rai Lay? I take you.
Ao Lang Beach Vendor #23: You like? You buy two? Black and white? Look so nice! Buy two – I give you good price. Cheap cheap!
Young, Fresh Burmese Beach Vendor: Where you from? You come back next year?
And now … the 2007 Thai Vendor Eloquence Award Goes To …
Ao Lang Flyer Distributor #10: Take my card – don’t break my heart!
*
This all said … later, after the snorkeling, swimming, sunburns and sea urchin:
What it’s like to ride an elephant. My shoes, before they became covered in jungle cave mud.
Jungle Life
Vines and Invisible Critters
Chillin after a hard hour’s work
Protecting a jungle temple by robbing its visitors blind … my friend, the monkey:
After: dusty, muddy truck ride back to the bungalows and then one more $5 meal:
… a much needed shower, a $8 Thai foot massage …
and then it was back to the kids.