You silly Italians with your love of English-language songs even though you have no idea what they mean! You crack me up. I love you. You make me warm inside, even as I chuckle sardonically each time I hear a DJ attempt to translate a song title – half the time, you dorks are wrong. […]
The Acquisition of Language
Friday Fix – Old Man Antonio on Successful Marriages
OLD MAN ANTONIO: All men cheat on their wives. ME: Is that so. OLD MAN ANTONIO: Yes. In fact, there is only one woman a man will never cheat on. ME: Really. OLD MAN ANTONIO: Yes. A pumitrozzola. ME: A what now? OLD MAN ANTONIO: A pumitrozzola. It’s a portmanteau. PU – puttana*- MI – […]
Keeper of the Castle: A Play in One Act
CAST OF CHARACTERS E: Writer. American. Early 30s. Breathtakingly gorgeous. OLD MAN ANTONIO: Pensioner. Early 60s. Italian. Haunts the bar where E goes to write. Scatters outrageous, unsolicited advice like so much birdseed. MARCO: Policeman. Italian. Mid-40s. MARCO was once one of E’s interview subjects for an article she was planning to write. FRANCESCO: MARCO’s […]
Swift, Stoker, Rushdie, Wilde, Beckett, Me
Five years ago, nearly to the day, I wrote this in my journal: I need to just give up – I’ll never be a writer. what ever made me think I could be one? HOW CAN YOU BE A WRITER IF YOU’RE NOT CREATIVE?????? HOW CAN YOU BE A WRITER IF YOU NEVER WRITE EXCEPT […]
Ten Popular Songs on Italian Radio and Why I Hate Most of Them
So one of the things that I do while I’m driving around town and having Daffy Duck moments is listen to the radio. It turns out that there are about ten songs the DJs play over and over… but over and over. Like, turn on the radio and it’s 100% guaranteed you will find one […]
The Mayor, the Policeman, and the Termosifone
So I’ve applied for my residency here in Terracina. It. Has been. A wild pain in my ass. This, despite being an Italian citizen. This, despite speaking Italian. This, despite making the request with my native Italian mother in tow. Sorry, the man you need to speak to isn’t here today. Oh, well, actually, he […]
Your Hiberno-English Word of the Day
Today’s secret word is craic. It’s an Irish word – one of those words you can’t really translate into English. Something you feel rather than explain. It’s a noun. It means fun. Liveliness. Spirit? Music’s usually involved, but not specifically music. Craic’s a good thing. You want to be where the craic is. You like […]
Sound of Myself
Beyond Sunday roasts and slick rainy streets… beyond lush green parks and Oscar Wilde preening on a rock…. beyond Viking boats and Jo Burger and College Green and Georgian doors, there’s another reason why I’ve been so stupid-happy to be back in Dublin. English. I get to speak English.
The Handyman of Via Bad Homburg
(The sound of whistling up the steps; the loud zap of a doorbell) Leone: Good murning, E. Myself: Salve, Leone. Thank you for coming – this gas leak has really made me nervous. Leone: Nuthing to worry about! Jusht let me see what the prublem ish. Myself: Okay. Please do. I was so nervous about […]
Photo Friday: Cats and Roman Ruins
Cat, always to be/ found prowling Rome’s ancient stones/ You and all your ilk. This post has been brought to you by Delicious Baby Photo Friday.