Five years ago, nearly to the day, I wrote this in my journal:
I need to just give up – I’ll never be a writer. what ever made me think I could be one? HOW CAN YOU BE A WRITER IF YOU’RE NOT CREATIVE?????? HOW CAN YOU BE A WRITER IF YOU NEVER WRITE EXCEPT FOR BULLSHIT PARAGRAPHS THAT MEAN NOTHING??? HOW CAN YOU BE A WRITER IF WHAT YOU DO WRITE IS TOTAL AND COMPLETE SHIT????? HOW CAN YOU BE A WRITER IF YOU’RE AFRAID TO WRITE – SURE THAT WHATEVER YOU SAY WILL BE RIDICULED, REJECTED, HATED, and TERRIBLE?
I believed every word of this paragraph. Every. Freaking. Word.
And today, April 19 2011, I graduated from Trinity College Dublin with an M. Phil in Creative Writing.
Take that, my 26 year-old self.
I may never be as brilliant as my fellow Trinity alums. But damned if I’m not going to try.
OH!!! OH!!! This is soooo freaking cool. Congrats!
Firstly…massively, huge, stonking, mindbendingly vast congratulations that are twice the size of everything.
Secondly…
I follow a lot of writers. I see a lot of writing. A lot. And you know what? You stand out. Really, truly you do. Your writing shines. And I’m glad you had the nerve to turn round to yourself and say “So, I suck – well STFU, I’m doing it anyway”.
We’re all gatekeepers deep inside, feeding insecurities and wallowing in self-hatred and really, truly *relishing* the fact that we know, *know* we’ve failed before we even started. And we all need to just STFU and do it anyway, just in case we’re wrong, which we almost always are.
Well done for doing just that. Because I’ve read your stuff, both here and published, and if I’m any judge (and STFU, internal Me, I *am* any judge) – you have rare talent.
I look forward to seeing what you do with it.
Aw, Mike….
Awesome. Congratulations on the accomplishment. Thanks for sharing that page of madness and uncertainty from your journal.
I agree with Mike — your writing stands out.
Cheers,
Cheri
Aw, Cheri….
Wot he said. And CONGRATULATIONS, lady! You rock.
Aw, Katja….
Wonderfully said! Can’t wait to see your books on my bookshelf! 😉
Thank you, Michi! I won’t let you guys down!
Impressive! Congratulations! Bravo!
And yeah, thank god you didn’t listen to that silly over-dramatic young person. You were already somebody interesting, creative with LOADS to say. I’m not surprised in the least by how good a writer you’ve become.
Not one bit.
Thanks so much, Paul – I really appreciate your support. But to be fair, at 26, I’d been suffering from writers’ block for 8 years so was really feeling like an impostor. Proof, as always, that life turns on a dime.
I LOVE your writing… even if you don’t let me read as much of it as I’d like! I remember the day I first stumbled across your blog… you were talking about bumblesomewhere and sounded fun, and I made up some dumb crap in the comments to play along.
Oh, and – Big congratulations!
Thanks, Nick! I remember your first comment, too – but it wasn’t when you think it was. You actually commented on a post I wrote about Irish culture waaaaay back in the fall of 2009; I’d posted the piece on Matador so that must be how you found it. But you didn’t become a regular commenter/crucial member of my support team until last spring when I wrote about side streets, my adventures with the UPS man, and the mystery of the guatemalan rum… your support has meant a lot to me over the year and thank you so much for the help! All of you. Mike, Katja, Cheri, Paul, Michi, Sharon… you make a girl proud.
Dude. I totally totally relate. For what it’s worth, I think you’re brilliant. And I’m not just saying that…
Congrats and keep the good stuff coming. The blog world would be mighty sad without you.
Duly honored, Lauren. Thank you so very much.
Huge congratulations!!
This was inspiring actually, and I don’t often say stuff like that.
Glad you decided to say it to me, then! Thanks, Robin!