Sticky Mess

I came to Japan with just two suitcases. Over the past two years, my belongings have multiplied like wet Mogwai. Isn’t that just the way? It’s time to start finding new homes for the things I’ve accumulated in my time here. While I was smart enough not to go hog wild and buy each and every trinket I saw, enough home-building items have crept into my Japanese apartment that I’m reduced to groans every time I look around me.  The pots and pans. The full-length mirror. The bookcase. The toaster oven. God, my stupid bed. Why did I cave? I’d managed 21 months on the wretched futon; what, I couldn’t nut up and manage just a few more? Great work, Past Liv.

Enter the Sayonara Sale website; a rite of passage for any expatriate living in Japan. Today we said goodbye to the IKEA floor lamp and a few of my basic Japanese texts. So far, the lamp is the only thing on the site to arouse any interest and as I was scouring the bathroom this morning I suddenly remembered the “Housecooling” I held shortly before I moved to Japan. Talk about your great parties – the goal? To finish up all of my remaining alcohol (including my 150% proof bottle of Centerbe). The party favors? As many of my unsold/undonated DVDs, CDs, books and knick knacks as my guests could carry. Ah, what a night. And what a great idea. Immediately, I envisioned marking our “Must Go” items with a series of stickers; the perfect excuse to head to Loft’s sticker paradise.

I haven’t been to Loft’s sticker section in a while. Though I once took such pleasure in buying stickers for my students, the minute I realized that the staff had stickers I could use for free, I stopped shelling out my own cash. While browsing the racks upon racks of impossibly cute seal designs, I decided that sakura circle seals would be ideal for the party – pink for “Please Take,” white for “An Offer, Make!” – and couldn’t resist picking up a few ultra cute sticker sets for myself.

All right, so I broke down – the pigs and elephants are for my students. The last day of school is next week, after all.  The kaiten sushi sticker set in the middle is, of course, for me. Too, too, too cute.

And here’s a packet of stickers I couldn’t resist getting for a very lucky someone:

No, they’re not ice cream sundaes. Look more closely.

Yup. It’s poop. Super cute poop, I might add. Who knew there was such a thing? Apparently, the Japanese. This here, ladies and gentlemen, is the poop of your dreams; neon-c0lored and friendly, with plenty a clever quip. Please note that the yellow poo in the toilet is craftily asking: “Will you squat?” Other members of this poo love fest are less verbose, offering only onomatopeoia such as ” コロコロ” (small and round thing rolling), “ふふふ” (hee hee hee!), “ららら” (la la la), and the mysterious よっと.

As for the more reserved poos, they contribute to this veritable garden of earthly delights by quietly judging the other frolicking poos from their ivory toilet seats and playing leapfrog. Sometimes, they even flirt with each other.

“Look; you’re a blue boy poo and I’m an orange girl poo. We just make sense.”

… aaaaaaand I’ve been writing this post for about an hour. My poo-obsessed students have proven me wrong – looks like you really CAN talk about it for 60 minutes.