Last week, 5 year olds at my school learned about barn animals. This involved singing “Old MacDonald” and imitating said animals complete with barnyard sounds. I tore into this task with gusto – I love my 5 year olds and will take any chance I can to play with them, regardless of how silly I look. For their part, they love it. They learn the language for the day and despite a little sweat on my brow, we are all happy.
Bob taught 5 year olds this week as well and told Sean that he wasn’t sure how to imitate a horse. Sean asked me later what I had done when teaching my kids.
“That’s easy!” I cried. “A horse does this!” I got down on my knees, neighed and reared up on my legs with my hands held close to my chest like hooves. “See?”I said. “Easy!”
“Brilliant!” said Sean. “What about a cow?”
I clomped on my hands and knees, pretended to chew grass and let out a throaty moo.
“Cat?”
I stalked across the room on my hands and knees, pausing to lick my paw and groom my face.
“Sweet Jesus. Chicken?”
I channeled Mick Jagger circa 1967 and said, “buck buck buck-a buck AAAA!”
“Oh my God,” said Sean.
“What?” I challenged. “The kids love it! Plus, it’s fun! You mean to say that you wouldn’t have gotten into it? What would you have done for a horse?”
“I,” said Sean, “Would have been a dignified horse.”
If it was dignity that you were looking for, why didn’t you imitate the trex? Clearly, there is no creature that is more dignified than the noble and graceful trex. Did you know, that during the great fire of London, a trex went around, helping scare children get down from the higher floors to safer ground. Once that was done, he then bought cotton candy for all to enjoy whilst telling marvelous tales that captured the childrens’ hearts! Oh the fun!
What the hell is a trex? Sounds as imaginary as a dignified horse. All the horses I’ve met head-butted, bullied, and were otherwise very bossy. This excludes, of course, My Little Ponies, Unicorns, and Seahorses. They’re all fine.